And now for some...Quiz Results ^_^ (These are just for fun, and while I do think they did a decent job in representing me, I still think I know myself better than some online test ^_^)



For the Greek Goddess Quiz, I somehow managed to get two results by only taking the quiz once.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

Now for Name Numerology!


Chel Wechter


6 Your Heart Number is 6
Shows that you have the ability to be a real peacemaker. Your home and family, and their care and well-being, are very important to you. You tend to be a highly responsible individual who is always there when needed.


5 Your Personality Number is 5
Makes you a rather fun and care-free individual whose company other people find inspiring and delightful. You're a bit of a free spirit, love variety, and have a strong desire to live life to the fullest.


2 Your Image Number is 2
Which makes you a real expert when it comes to dealing with other people. You know how to handle others in a way that makes them feel good about themselves but that also gets them to do what you want them to do.




And this one's always pretty







find your element
at mutedfaith.com.
<º>

There are some things I can't tell some people. Some people don't understand. It doesn't make them bad people or bad friends....they've just never experienced certain things. Lots of certain things..
~*~

It's funny how people change as they grow up.

I saw Devon today at Blockbuster. She was just how I remember her from school ~ in her cheerleading outfit and just as friendly as ever ^_^ But I hardly ever see her. She mentioned Taylor...another friend I haven't seen forever. Which made me think of Becca, who I still see sometimes, but not very much. Taylor and Becca used to be my best friends. Now it seems like stereotypes came between us. From what I can see, Taylor went to the "prep" group and Becca started hanging out with the skaters. I've completely lost my old group of friends. I guess that happens, though. Choosing to home school didn't exactly help me stay close to everyone..lol. Well, I always was kind of the odd one out. All the really cool ones ~ Freya, Allison G., Allison P., and Kaitlyn..all moved away. Hmmm, I guess I'm really lucky for Gina and Sarah =) And my online friends...even if they're not here, I'm glad I know them. I wonder what it takes for people to be friends forever, though...?
~*~

I want to be everybody's everything.

It makes me feel like crying when someone tells me they love me..and I can't say it back. It's such a messed up system of falling in love and hurting people...how can I be a part of this? It's like some kind of messed up game. I don't want to be in love with everybody..but I don't want to have to choose. To make someone feel not good enough, to hurt someone...to take away someone's hope. My favorite guiding force: hope....and I do it such a disservice. I don't even know when the hope I give is false. Why do I have to choose? I love them all. Because they are human beings, too. Because they are simply who they are. But I understand that a person can't give their all to everyone...I want to have something special with just one person, but it gets so complicated...

I don't deserve you, Darryl. You say you trust me, and this is what you get.

And I hate myself for being...loveable. I can't talk about it or barely think about it without feeling conceited. "Oh, four boys are in love with me..what ever am I to do?" just sounds so..shallow. What did I do to deserve all that love, anyway? Ugh..I can't stand writing about it.

I don't know what I'm going to do, but...that's always my excuse. I have to do something. Maybe I'm not cut out for this girlfriend thing...

~*~

I've just deleted all my old entries again...Sometimes I think I should keep them, but in the end, it would only be clutter. Clicking a delete button on here is a lot easier than burning my diaries in real life, thought probably not as fun =) I'll burn them all before I move out..

I wonder if anyone reads these? I wonder how close people look..?

I think an online diary might be pointless. I'll probably take it off soon, because even when I try, I can't just say whatever comes to my mind. It all sounds too weird ^_^
~*~

She raises her face
And smiles at the sun
Surprised to think
Someday it'll all be done

She tilts her head
And feels the fresh rain
Startled to realize
One day she'll never feel it again

She listens to the ocean
And gazes at the stars
In fear and awe
Of something off far

She smiles and she cries
But she's always alive
Drinking up the sweetness
She'll lose when she dies

She wonders how anyone
Could take this for granted
To walk the beautiful Earth
And yet feel empty-handed

She sits in her room
And smiles through all gloom
Enjoying her stay
She could leave soon
~*~

A sunbeam
There, a fragment of rainbow in the sky
A whisper
The sea flowing gently in its evening tide
A wish
Watch, I hold my breath and close my eyes
And hope
Tomorrow, I know, will be just fine

I wrote that months ago, and came across it at the forum.. I feel bad today =P I have a cold and I feel like being alone, but then I get bored. I've re-developed a strange obsession with only letting myself eat at certain times of the day. But I'm okay
~*~